The Rebirth of Rebecca

Time has been short, but also long, on this journey since my divorce. You might be wondering how I am doing and what I've been up to since my last blog in January. I am doing amazingly well, all things considering. I have learned two things traveling this road: God answers prayer and God sees me. 

If anything has convinced me that all of this is His will, it's how fantastically He's taken care of me through it. At my last writing, I had just moved into an apartment with my oldest daughter and her little family. I was awaiting my divorce to come. 

It came on January 13th.

Due to a delay in communication between the court and my lawyer, I didn't know it was final until January 19th. The last week and a half of January, I fell apart. I felt as if I had been carrying so much for so long, that now it was over I shattered all over the floor. Emotions I held in check for 6 months while I lived in that same house all came out at the same time. Hurt, shame, anger, disgust, and disbelief, but most of all, a deep and withering sorrow.

I begged God's forgiveness like a child clutching on to Daddy's legs - "I'm sorry, Lord, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't hold on to my vow. Forgive me. Please forgive me."

I cried for the life I had lost, not only the failed marriage and the lost hope, but the years I can never get back. Was it all a big waste? Vanity and wind? And of course I also had to deal with being so easily cast aside. Was I so forgettable? Unloved? Unworthy to be loved? 

Needless to say, God had a HUGE mess on His hands. He rolled up His sleeves and got to work.

My biggest fear was going back into the workforce. I hadn't worked for over 20 years. I had no experience other than some random office work in the 90's. All I knew was how to write. I remember my sister once said something about freelancing so I looked into it. I found a website called Upwork and made some decent money. One of my clients offered me a job at her virtual assistant firm and I accepted and continued to freelance on the side. Her company was so small and she had maybe three clients, but she needed help and I was that help.

Fast forward throughout this year and, praise God, her company has grown 7 times over! She has hired several more VA's to handle the load, and I have officially been given the job title of COPYWRITER. My skills were better used for writing blogs, newsletters, and web copy for various clients rather than setting appointments and doing research. I still freelance through Upwork and I have earned myself the Top Rated badge, a feat I never thought I'd be able to do.

I get to work from home and I'm able to set my own hours. Due to my rheumatoid arthritis, I am regularly fatigued and often in pain. I was worried about not being able to hold down a regular 8am-5pm job. God knew this and gave me the perfect job. 

Not only that, He gave me a career.

Regardless of where I work now, I will always be, officially, a copywriter. In fact, my boss told me she's gained new clients for the simple fact that she has a copywriter on staff. Due to her rapid growth, she will likely need to hire more copywriters in the future, and she has already told me when that day comes, to prepare myself to become a senior copywriter.

Writing for my job? This is a dream come true! Thank You, Lord, thank You!

While thriving at my job, I was also coming into a season of a renewed self-image. Something magical happens when a woman who has only known fallow ground is allowed to bloom in good soil. I was finally out of a toxic situation. I was writing my own narrative. I was not constantly fed someone else's perception of who I was, and not overlooked for who I had truly become. 

When you're in the trenches, it seems normal. Your perception is twisted and you believe what you've always been told about yourself. I had felt such shame in leaving, but the more I told stories to my horrified friends, the more I realized exactly what God had saved me from. With my nose in Scripture and always constant in prayer, God began showing me how much I was truly loved, by family, by friends, by my church, but most importantly, by Him. We sing about His love, we have faith in it, but when we see God move in our lives in powerful and tangible ways, there can be no doubt of His glorious and redeeming love.

In an effort to take back that narrative and become who GOD created me to be, I had my portraits taken. I wanted to see myself with new eyes and discover how others see me. I wanted to prove to myself that I am a beautiful woman, beloved by God, worthy, called, and chosen by the King of Heaven Himself. 

"Consider this Lily, how she grows," He declares. "She neither toils nor spins, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like her."

I have so many stories of how God has been good to me, from getting myself health insurance for my expensive RA meds, to paying my self-employment taxes, to buying my car a full set of tires, to registering my car, to getting my own car insurance, a new phone, a gym membership, and on and on. Not only that, but my little church devos have gone out into the world through a free downloadable ebook and I hear touching stories all the time of how they've touched others for the glory of God. 

What a glory, to bring such glory to the God of All Glory!

Speaking of glory, one last thing. Just within the past two weeks I have found that I have curly hair. Who knew? Certainly not me! I am discovering things about myself I never knew, and I am so ready to go on this journey of self-discovery. 

If a woman's hair is her glory (1 Cor. 11:15), behold this magnificent new glory Christ has given me.

I am beautiful. 
I am loved. 
I am worthy.
I am HIS.

Amen, Lord Jesus. I will spend the rest of my life thanking You with every single breath and heartbeat You give me. Praise the Lord.

The Awesome Providence of God

I want to take the time to tell of how God has been with me on my journey through my painful, but not unexpected, divorce. Everything that has happened from the first day of my journey until now has been the providence of God. My last blog post was heart-wrenching, yet even so, ended on a hopeful note. God is in this, and He has made it quite obvious to me.

I am not the only Christian going through the end of their marriage. But perhaps my story might inspire others on their own journey and have hope for themselves that God still sees, He still hears, and He still magnificently provides.

I won't get into the details of why. God knows why, and that is enough. Suffice it to say I stand upon both Biblical precedents for divorce, one given by the Apostle Paul, the other given by our Lord Himself. I will say, however, that I was the one to seek to be loosed. Some Christians might raise a brow at that, but let me preface my words by saying I prayed hard. I pressed in. I searched the Scriptures. I went to my elders. I asked for prayer. I begged God to show me the way. I sought divorce because I knew he is codependent and would never seek it himself regardless of any and all dysfunction. 

My question to God was this: "Can the text of 1 Corinthians 7:15 be interpreted as abandonment without him physically leaving the house or seeking divorce?" In other words, is it possible to still be physically present, yet abandon your spouse emotionally and sacrificially?

The answer I got? 

Yes.

Some might not agree with that. Even I struggled after the decision was made. Had I done the right thing? This isn't explicitly spelled out in God's Word, after all. But the Bible is rife with so many admonishments against unbelievers and how Christians are to deal with them in life, not to eat with such a one, to kick the dust off your feet, that bad company corrupts good morals, and the like. Yes, we are told to love our enemies, and that a man's enemies are those of his own household, yet surely a Christian woman who adores the Lord Jesus and happens to be married to Nabal is not in lifelong bondage to this millstone dragging her to the depths? 

God Himself freed Abigail. I believe God Himself likewise freed me. 

However, I was willing to wash my hands of it all, even if it meant never being able to marry again according to Scripture. I told God this, and continued on toward the end my marriage.

But the Lord provided even here. While I still believe I had biblical precedent to divorce according to the Apostle Paul's stipulation of abandonment, shortly after we decided to divorce (but before we were even legally separated) God graciously gave me our Lord's provision as well. I will not lie, I was gutted and I didn't understand why this was happening so fast, yet I realized two things. First, God showed me that yes, this divorce was absolutely His will. Second, even if anyone could dispute my first reason, they cannot dispute the Lord's. With it, He gave me an amazing grace.

It was as if He said to me, "Do not fear, daughter. Look, see! I have given you full freedom. Now, if you will, you may remarry."

This was a deep and rich grace for a heart that genuinely wishes to be known.

Since then, I have had to endure a very painful shoulder surgery and the three-month recovery. But in the midst, I became a successful freelancer with my writing, as well as an independent contractor for an online business. I couldn't work physically, but I could type, so I asked God to help me and He did. Now, praise the Lord, this is my sole source of income.

I have been able to stockpile my RA medication, as I won't be insured for much longer. That's been all of God. I was able to have dental work done due to a previously unknown large credit on my dental account. I was also able to get the remainder refunded. I received an unexpected, and very humbling boon from an old friend who felt as if God laid it on her heart to help me build my nest egg. My daughter and I were able to move out together to an amazing apartment where we can each save money every month rather than struggle to pay rent on our own. We even have a garage where I can charge my hybrid car, a periphery concern of mine. 

I don't know if it is relevant to God's working, but I realized the other day that our move-in date, January 7th, is six months to the day I knew my marriage was over. Six agonizing months, not only in trying to make sense of it all and work through my dark and heavy emotions, but in physical pain as well with my shoulder recovery and how helpless I was in taking care of myself.

Perhaps my shoulder surgery serves as a metaphor for my life, as a housewife of over 20+ years, now having to face the world alone and make a living for myself, I had to hide away for a time. Indeed, I was helpless in a way. Everything scared me and I had to take things slow. God knew this, and grew me over these past 6 months. 

Ah, saints, do not belittle the power of your prayer closet. Likewise, do not belittle the power of intercessory prayer. I believe I have survived due to the prayers of others. Knowing others held me up to God was my one balm. I was dead, raw, beaten down, wrecked, and yes, even hopeless for a time. But we bear each other's burdens, amen? God heard these prayers and got to work rebuilding me from the ground up. He is still restoring the remnants of my heart. There are a great many things I have yet to work through. 

I don't know how I'll ever trust another again. But nothing is impossible with God. Aside from that, all these things have greatly humbled my feminine heart. However, I have hope that if God gave me His own provision that I might one day remarry, perhaps there is another who can help me understand and show me the glory of how God intended marriage to be. I hope so. I pray for it often.

But I am not ready. I need to stand for myself, find myself, and ...love myself. As of this writing, I am about a week away from once again being a single woman. I pray for wisdom, for discernment, and for boldness. I pray for God's continued guidance and provision, for His tender care, and for all my children to heal. 

I pray I never take marriage for granted again. I pray I will be shrewd and critical regarding a man's spiritual life and doctrine. Any man who approaches me now will be vetted hard. Let me see your Bible. Is it pristine or well-read? Let me hear of all your answered prayers. Let me witness some for myself. How do you spend your time? How do you serve your church? How do you love the people of God? How deeply do you adore the Lord Jesus? Let me witness your passion. Do you live for Him, or do you live a secular life with Jesus pinned to your lapel? How do your friends speak of you? Of your faith? What does your family have to say? How much do you pray for me? How will you lead me? Provide for me? Care for me? Honor me? Sacrifice for me? Die for me?

A woman should not place herself in submission to a man until these questions be answered. It's a tall order, I know. Which is why I won't worry about it. I'm going to let God sort that out. I'll just be over here praising Jesus that He set me free, to the full, in His name, and for His glory. Maybe someone will take notice. But what is that to me? I follow Christ! Amen? 

Amen. 

Thank You, Lord Jesus, for setting this captive free. My life is Yours, come what may.

~~Becka

How Did I Get Here?

How did I get here? That's the question I've been asking myself. What do I say? How can I rectify these broken dreams? My broken heart? What do I say to God? How can I come to terms with what's happening and be okay with it all? What do I say to my church, my friends, my family, when the hard questions eventually come?

The reality is, I've been hiding. I'm not ready to face anything yet. I like to think I'm a strong and confident woman, but I'm not. I'm weak and I'm scared and I have no clue what I'm doing. Don't look at me, don't smile at me, don't talk to me about your happy marriage when my own has fallen apart. 

What kind of Christian woman can't save her marriage?

I am living in a housefire, dogpaddling in a flash-flood, groping about in a black room.
Do I wish for reconciliation?

NO.

Why, then, do I grumble?

Ah, the broken dreams, the broken heart. These are bleeding out on the floor and I can't seem to stop them. I remember the hope of my wedding day. The joy of my babies being born. The peace in knowing I had someone to grow old with.

I have betrayed myself. That young girl with stars in her eyes... look what has become of her. Did she waste her life? Did I betray God by being unable to uphold my marriage vow? It slipped through my fingers like water. It blew away on the wind. What great shame I feel for not being able to make it work, for watching him leave for her house, for being alone, for seeing so many I know and love wearing rings, growing old together. Married.

Happy.

.

.

.

.

.

I was a bird trapped in a tiny room. 

"Where is the sky?"

*Nowhere* 

"Why can't I fly?"

*This is your cage*

"God! I need Your help!"

He handed me my pen -

And with it, helped me unlock the cage door.

Did I do the right thing? Second-guessing is second nature these days. Yes, I believe I did. But the blowback is far beyond any pain I have ever known. This is why God hates divorce. It is destructive and it barrels through a family like an F5 tornado.

I must stand on my own now. I need to forge a new way and do what I've never done before. Independence. Strike my own path. Pay my own rent. Service my own car. Let me be honest; life is scary without a man. Can I do it? Yes. But security is gone, headship is gone, feeling safe...

...is gone.

AND YET.
EVEN SO.
BUT GOD.

He has not left me comfortless. I have the full support of my church. I am covered in prayer. I am confident He will lead me where I am to go.

Christ is my Head. Christ is my wisdom. Christ is the one holding me up and keeping me from disappearing beneath the waves.

None of this came as a surprise to Him. That wedding day, so long ago, He knew. He had a plan; He would give me a family, He would make me a wife for a season. He would bring me to Oregon.

He would save me in truth.

He would give me a church family. He would give me people who love me and hold me up to Him. He would grow me in wisdom and knowledge and give me the pen of a ready writer. He would use all these things for His glory.

He used my years as a stay-at-home mom to give me a quiet classroom to study His entire Word.

He used my years as a romance author to hone and sharpen my writing skills to be used to praise His name.

He used my unequal yoke to draw me closer to Him, to seek out His tenderness, to yearn for Christ's banner of love over me.

He used all my experiences to give me unique perspectives.

I know what it's like, shackled to the precipice, peering into Hell. 

God, in His mercy, has freed me from that chain. 

He opened the prison door. 

He loosed me from the millstone.

Still, I must wait. 

Now, but not yet. 

Separated, not yet divorced.

But one day - soon.

A seed must germinate. Roots must grow. A tender shoot must rise out of the ground before it ever becomes a stem. Be patient, your bud shall bloom. This is the end of that old life, but this is not the end; this is a new beginning with God, in His name and for His glory. 

This is a life redeemed by God Himself, not only spiritually, but physically. This is the unstoppable power of Jehovah Jirah, God my Provider, taking care of His precious, sighing daughter. This is Yahweh Sabaoth standing up and sending His Host to fight for her. This is the God of Glory shining His favor down from Heaven. This is the Lord Jesus Christ rescuing a weary woman by His will alone, much like He did in the Gospels. This is tender-hearted Yeshua of Nazareth, offering His gentle hand to the woman crying and trembling in the corner.

The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new. 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Rejoice, ye woman of God! Storm and gloom have broken upon the dawn of a new day. He is the Bright and Morning Star. He will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hope shines all the brigher now, moreso than that wedding day of old. Now, I look toward that Wedding Day in Glory, with my beloved Christ forever. 

Look up, sweet woman 

There is the sky...

You are free to fly as you will!

Where is the limit?

What...  Who...  

...awaits beyond that horizon? 

Long have I waited upon the Lord.

O, how I wish to soar --

Teach Your dove to fly, precious God! 

A Study of the Woman Caught in Adultery

In my regular Bible study, I came across the familiar story of the woman caught in adultery in John 8:1-11. Reading it recently, it fascinated me and I noticed many things I hadn't noticed before. It's been awhile since I've done a Bible study on my blog, so let's get to it.

First of all, the scene. Christ is teaching in the early morning at the temple (John 8:2). Not too soon after He sits down to teach, the scribes and Pharisees drag in a woman whom they claim was caught in the act of adultery. They pose a question to our Lord about the Law of Moses, and what He recommends to do with this woman. But John 8:6 claims they said this to test Him, to bring a charge against Him.

Let's stop right there. Right out the gate, we see these evil men are using the woman for their own gain. They are not seeking righteousness according to God's Law, they are trying to find some way to trap Jesus in His own words. If this woman was indeed "caught in the act" of adultery, and if indeed they were trying to trap Jesus with the Law, it is quite likely and highly probable the woman was set up. She was either a well-known prostitute, or the Pharisees knew she was someone's mistress, perhaps one of their own ranks. Perhaps she was wooed into it by a regular, or coerced to lie with her lover that night specifically in order to carry out this plan - unbeknownst to her. I do not believe these men caught her on a whim. This was no chance meeting. They did not rejoice that some random, serendipitous opportunity to trap Yeshua fell into their laps that very morning.

No. This was planned, and the Pharisees likely had the woman's lover in their back pocket.

Maybe they had given him a handsome sum, as they had with Judas. Perhaps they knew her lover's patterns and knew he'd be with her that morning. Perhaps he tipped them off and told them he would go in to her and they could find her with him in the morning. Whatever happened, it was planned, because they specifically used her situation to trap Christ.

Interesting side note, this woman was not the married party in the "adultery" charge, as there is no husband present accusing her before Christ. Therefore, the adultery came on the man's side - HE had been the married party - and notice he is conveniently absent from this exchange. Likely the scribes and Pharisees wanted a flesh-and-blood human to confront Christ with, as hypotheticals never seemed to work to trap Him. Since the man had presumably tipped them off, they hadn't dragged him along with them. But Christ would not be able to ignore a woman who had blatantly broken the Law of Moses. Another thing to note is that they seemed sincere with their inquiry in John 8:4 by calling Yeshua "Master". Yet another pretense.

Let's move on to the woman. She had been caught in adultery, which means, likely dragged from her bed in the early morning hours and brought straight to the temple. She was probably naked with maybe only a blanket covering her. I doubt the indignant Pharisees would wait for her to properly clothe herself. A naked woman would only serve to further their evil agenda.

She did not fight their charge or even say a word in her own defense. The charge was true. She had indeed spent the night with a married man. Imagine what was going through her mind at this point. Barely clothed, standing in the TEMPLE with the Jewish leaders, in front of a man the people believed to be the Messiah Himself. Every eye was on her. The poor thing must have been trembling and terrified. I can imagine her face wet with tears; maybe she hid her face with silent sobs. How could she stand it, being humiliated before all of Jerusalem in the holiest place on earth, accused before this very man who could do such amazing things?

No other man had ever cared for her. There might have been someone at one time, but seen as how she was a married man's lover, she either prostituted herself to him to get by, or she fell in love with absolutely the WRONG MAN. If he sold her out to the Pharisees, he cared nothing for her. Not only that, she stood guilty in the house of God. Both the fear of man and the fear of God must have been upon her. How long had it been since she'd set foot in the temple? If she was a woman of ill-repute, probably a very long time. She knew she didn't deserve to be in such a sacred place. She was going to die. She was preparing herself to be stoned.

And yet... this teacher stooped to write on the ground. He didn't seem perturbed at all by these men as they continued to ask Him. He did not grow angry, seem indignant, wrathful, or even particularly merciful. He was quiet for a little while. Then, He stood. He did not suggest they set aside the Law of Moses. In fact, He endorsed it in a genius way, instructing them to let the one who is without sin cast the first stone.

This was it. The woman knew this was the last moment of her life. She might have tensed up, or prayed desperately and fervently for God to forgive her sins. Christ, being Himself God in flesh, and knowing the hearts of all men, likely heard her prayers - if she did indeed pray and repent in that moment - of which I believe she did.

With a calm answer, Christ revealed to the scribes and Pharisees that the Law is a mirror to reflect our sins back at us, not a list of works to be made righteous before God. No one is faultless under the Law. The older men realized this first, who gave up and left, leaving the younger men to follow (John 8:9). They weren't about to go against their elders.

Once they were alone, Christ asks the woman, "Does no man condemn you?"

I can imagine the fear she had of opening her eyes. The sharp way she might have darted her head around. She probably looked like a deer in the headlights. I'm sure she probably swallowed hard a few times before answering Him.

"No man, Lord."

Let's stop here for a moment. A little while before, the Pharisees had insincerely called Christ "Master", yet this woman, in all submission and fear, calls Him, "Lord". She meant it. She said it without question. She was convinced this man was indeed the Messiah. She had just witnessed Him get the best of the holiest men in Israel with a simple pointed statement, which had revealed all of them needed a Savior!

Still wrapped in nothing but a blanket, her voice was probably timid and soft, not wanting to incur Yeshua's wrath as well. The interesting thing about Christ's question to the woman is that He was Himself a man. While her accusers had left, He was the only one left who could actually accuse her. He was, in fact, the only man present without any sin.

Yet He gives the woman the magnificent mercy of God: "Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more."

Looking into His kind eyes, this woman who had been so used by evil men, in her body, in her soul, and in her heart, saw for the first time true love, real respect, absolute gentleness, and sweet tenderness in the face of a man. This man, the Messiah, sent by God, in the midst of the temple, with nothing to offer Him but ...herself in a blanket.

I imagine she probably ran off, wanting desperately to be out of the spotlight, away from the scrutiny. If she held it together, she likely fell apart once she got home. But I am certain of one thing. Her entire life was changed. We don't hear anything more about her specifically, but she would have remembered Yeshua of Nazareth for the rest of her life. She would have listened to every word from His mouth. She would have followed Him to her grave.

Those who are forgiven much love much (Luke 7:47).

This woman had once loved the wrong man, but for the first time in her entire life, she loved the RIGHT MAN, the God-man, the Son of Man, the Lord Jesus Christ, who fought for her while she was as still as a lamb, who'd beaten back the ravening wolves from His precious sheep with sharp and brilliant precision, and saved a helpless woman from the snares of death.

She entered the temple naked and terrified; she left the temple forgiven and loved.

This is the glory of the grace of Christ, who came to earth to save sinners. O, how our precious Lord loves His daughters! I do not believe she went back to her lover or her life of prostitution. She had been forgiven by the Lord God! She would now live for Him with every beat of her heart, every breath in her lungs, and every word from her mouth.

Obviously I cannot say for certain this woman felt all these things for Christ, I can only judge through the lens of my own experience. But as a woman who has often felt used, unloved, and terrified, I can testify that one glance from the tender eye of Christ has ravished my own heart, and thus, seeing Him before her bodily, how much more did His glance hit its mark and claim her heart forever?

Amen, Lord. Thank You for loving us, for loving this woman, for loving me, so beautifully and completely.

Walking in the Power of God

What does it mean to walk in the power of God? Very simply, it is walking by the Spirit in faith and total abandon to our Lord Jesus Christ. I'm not talking about performing miracles, signs and wonders, or anything mystical. No. Rather, the power of God is given by God to the child of God to do the work of God. The Kingdom of God is not in word, but in power (1 Corinthians 4:20). We can often recognize believers who are walking in the power of God, but we don't really know what it is about them that marks them other than a gut feeling.

Here's my own little list of ten things to recognize those upon whom God's favor rests, which is in no way exhaustive, and is in no particular order. As you read through these things, ask yourself, do these describe you? If not, what actions can you take to be a believer who walks in the power of God?

1.) They're serious about their faith.

First, this believer cannot be blase about the things of God. They think upon them all the time. In fact, they daily meditate on the truths of God and try to understand them as best they can. They are not legalistic, but they believe a true Christian should walk in holiness and godliness, and they strive to that end. They avoid sinful activities and worldliness as much as they can. They're often very deep, and once you scratch the surface, you wonder if you'll ever come to the bottom of their hearts. Sometimes, their seriousness can be a weighty thing, and to the frivolous Christian, they can seem daunting to talk to. This serious soul doesn't want to talk about surface issues, they want to talk deeper realities, Heaven, Hell, life, death, righteousness, and iniquity. Two realities exist for these believers. Either they are regarded as a deep well upon which to draw, or they are avoided all together. Why? Because their seriousness about Christ shines a spotlight on those who are not serious about Him at all. Those who wish to be more serious about Christ draw near, while those who don't care to get closer to Him stand intimidated.


2.) They're living in their gifting.

It is not prideful to know how the Lord Jesus has gifted you. A Christian who knows their gifting will use it for His glory. You can tell when someone is phoning it in, and you can tell when someone isn't. One cannot fake a genuine gift from Heaven without being revealed a fraud. A true gifting is no struggle, it flows out of these believers like a stream of Living Water. When everything they do prospers, then you know you are dealing with a Christian walking in the power of God. The Bible speaks of the "aroma of Christ", and when you witness a believer working in God's power, you know exactly what that means. It is a stunning thing, to watch our brothers and sisters live out what our Lord had planned for them in His Body, as if each one of Christ's children has a unique piece of their Lord to put on display. Sometimes, a believer doesn't know their gifting, but others will know, as those around them will see for themselves the obvious power upon them from the Lord God. 

3.) They're saturated in Christ.

For this Christian, every day is spent with Christ. Perhaps not every single moment, but most of them. These have forsaken the world, choosing only to feed themselves upon things that will edify. They've given up reading fiction, secular music, or watching TV for themselves, and only partake in these when among others who might still enjoy them. Again, this is not legalistic, this is not what they believe all Christians should do, but for themselves, they find no enjoyment in anything apart from Christ. Some of these believers live in a vacuum of godliness and therefore keep themselves saturated in Jesus to ensure they will not fall away. Keeping these things before their eyes keeps their eyes full of light, and their mind on heavenly things. Their entire worldview is shaped through the lens of Christ, and like the Puritans, they can find Gospel lessons in just about anything in everyday life.


4.) They pray without ceasing.

Just as they spend all day in the presence of Christ, these same believers are in a perpetual state of communion with Him as well. They constantly have an open dialogue with Christ in their mind. Their inner dialogue isn't talking to themselves, they are talking to Jesus. Always. If God brings someone to mind, these pray for them on the spot. It is as if Christ is walking next to them all the time. They never leave their prayer closets. While these believers do have a special prayer time set aside to specifically talk to God, they are not "done" talking to God when they say "Amen." It is to these who pray without ceasing, who always have a direct and open line to God every hour of the day, who are led effortlessly by the Holy Spirit.


5.) They're a giver of thanks.

This point is very important. Never do they steal God's glory for themselves. These believers are quick to correct anyone who praises them and points all praise to the Lord Jesus Christ. This isn't in pretense, either. This is no faked humility. This is genuine; they truly do thank Jesus in all they do. Every time you turn around, they are thanking Jesus. Every prayer opens with thanks, closes with thanks, and is filled with thanks. The providence of God is quite obvious to these, and they know that all good things comes down from the Father of Lights. They even give thanks for the hard times and their afflictions, as they know God will work these together for good, and it's the will of God in Christ Jesus for them.


6.) They're born to worship.

These Christians are worshippers. They don't merely sing and dance to have fun, although they do have fun, they truly worship God from the bottom of their hearts and put it on full display without fear of anyone seeing. Again, not for their glory, but because they are totally abandoned to Christ in that moment. Often, they can inspire others to worship more fervently and openly as well. These are like King David, so in love with their God, they don't care who sees, knows, or scoffs; they will raise their hands and shout all the more.


7.) They give all credit to God.

It is God who gives every good and perfect gift, therefore, there is no other source of blessing for these believers. Not only do they take no glory for themselves, but they thank God for the circumstances of life. There is no such thing as luck or karma. All is ordained by the Lord God Almighty, Sovereign over all, whether a meal, a new coat, or a raise at work, and therefore they tell others of these amazing things God has given them. Glorifying God for moving in their lives is tied very closely to giving thanks in all things.


8.) They're mighty in the Scriptures.

Like the Apostle Paul, the Bereans (Acts 17:10-11), or Apollos from the book of Acts (Acts 18:24), Christians who walk in the power of God know the Word of God. They have read it and studied it so much, it is written on their hearts. They seem to pour forth Scripture when they talk, and you likely don't want to get into a debate with them about the subject. They are able to argue God's truth from His Word and point you directly to the chapter and verse where you can find it written. They do not rely upon the chicken wings of daily devotions, but the steak and potatoes of deeper study. One of the ways they stay saturated in Christ is to meditate upon His Word, to ponder what they've read, and tie it to other passages or promises elsewhere in Scripture. Often, these believers will take notes in their Bibles, and you will find their margins full of their thoughts.


9.) They don't rely upon their own strength.

The power of God can't often be put on display if one is boasting in a strength of their own. These believers know they are weak, for God delights in using the weak to confound the wise. Not everyone's weakness will be with disease, old age, or some physical malady. However, God disciplines every son He receives, and those He uses in His power have been humbled greatly. Whatever project these believers set out to do, they know it is impossible to complete unless God is with them in it. Even when they are in their gifting, if God isn't moving along with them, they will struggle to complete the task. There is no room for boasting here. Our flesh is too accustomed to praising ourselves. Therefore this Christian is well aware that all work for God must be done by the power of God to have any effect whatsoever. And once the work is done, they give all glory to God and much thanks for His provision.

10.) They're ever-increasing in wisdom and knowledge.

Through prayer, study, and experience, Christians who walk in the power of God are increasing in wisdom and knowledge in the things of God. Those whom God favors only get better, stronger, and more gifted through the years as they're sanctified by the Spirit. They do not stagnate, they are always moving forward, climbing onward to the city of God. They might supplement their Bible study by learning of church history, reading old sermons, or reading books from men who have gone on before them. There is no such thing as knowing everything they need to know, so they are always learning, a perpetual disciple. They have a hunger to know their Lord, and they will not stop learning of Him until Christ calls them home to Glory.

~*~*~

These are some of the distinguishing marks of a Christian walking in the power of God. Notice how these marks resemble those Christians of the first century. Believers such as these are not content to merely show up to church, they hunger and thirst for their God and chase after Him with everything inside of them. He is their Grand Pursuit, their One True Love, the Great Passion of their lives. This is what separates them from the crowd and why others can tell there is something different about them. 

God is the focus of their lives, the driving force, the One for whom their passions ignite. He is not a part of their lives, He is their life. Every breath is the Spirit, every heartbeat is Christ.

The simple fact is this. God uses those who are sold out for Him. He uses people who take Him seriously, who look around this world and lament the many who are perishing. They have no use for wasting time, they want to work for Jesus and store up treasures in Heaven. God favors those who glorify Him in truth, who want nothing more than to glorify Him through their lives. Our Lord looks at the heart and can clearly see if this desire is true or feigned. If it is feigned, nothing one can ever do will be able to counterfeit the power of God. 

But if it is true, nothing can stop a Christian faithfully praising the One who is the Giver, the Sustainer, and the Creator of all things, for He is with them in power and great glory.

Amen.

The Glory of God in the Heart of a Woman

Back in December, I wrote a piece about the glory of God in the heart of a man. I wrote it not only because Christ is truly God and truly man, but also that Christ is alive in the brethren, looking out through our eyes. To those who've never witnessed a true, godly life, it is glorious to behold. Being a woman myself, I cannot help but stand in awe of godly brothers, as compared to the unrighteousness so common in men of this world.

However, it occurred to me as I live my own life, striving to walk by the Spirit rather than by the flesh, it might help to write another piece, from my own perspective, about the glory of God in the heart of a woman. I think she is likewise breathtaking, when considered against worldliness, vanity, and the war on femininity in these days.

Scripture certainly seems to agree, considering the Proverbs 31 woman, Peter's description of true beauty, and how wisdom is personified as a godly woman.

There are several examples of godly women all throughout Scripture, and even though you do not see them, you love them. If you are a Christian, you cannot help but be struck by stories the likes of Mary of Bethany or Dorcas of Joppa. These were well-beloved, precious women. Why? Because they reflected Christ and loved much. They poured out their lives for their Lord, and in that was their beauty.

He was their beauty.

Here's where I think godly manhood and godly womanhood compliment each other. In a godly man, you witness the strength of Christ, the love of Christ, and also the tenderness of Christ. In a woman of God, you likewise see the tenderness, love, and strength of Christ, perhaps in varying degrees, but also, a woman shines His profound beauty.

Don't get me wrong, men absolutely do this as well. Christ's beauty can and does shine through the hearts of men. But it is not a man that Scripture describes as a lily, a dove, or more precious than rubies.

Why?

Take this for what it's worth, but this is my own experience with the matter. Women, for all intents and purposes, often leave scholarship to men. They are content to pray and get together with their sisters and do their Bible studies. There is nothing wrong in this! Many a lovely, saintly woman has marched on to Glory doing the same.

However, there is something to be said for the woman who takes the time to dig in and learn of her Savior, to appraise that Heavenly Jewel, to plunge into His Well, to drink deeply from His Fountain.

This gives women of God something of a "double portion" of the beauty of Christ. Not only does she know her Lord, she has a living and active relationship with Him that is unmistakable. She is not shallow, she is deep. She is not sparkling, she is radiant. Her glory is Christ's glory very much present in her. It is almost a tangible thing. Those around her can feel it in her presence. She does nothing but walk past, yet, it seems as if Christ Himself had done so. What is this specific glory?

It is called unction.

Unction is an old-timey theological word which means "anointing". We as Christians all have unction as we all have the Spirit of God alive within us, but this precious woman practically bathes in His Living Water. God Himself has poured out His glory for her, answering her prayers and anointing her life. How does this happen? Through a surrendered life. A truly surrendered life.

Men and women can both have God's unction upon them, but I believe it manifests in men and women in different ways. Men with unction protect the truth of God's Word and are bold and fearless when it comes to rebuking error and drawing lines in the sand for Christ. Women with unction nurture others, encourage the Body, and look to their Lord with eyes filled with His beauty. She makes Christ beautiful to those around her, and that is her special glory.

Because of this, women of God with unction of the Spirit are very precious to Christ. Not every believer sees His glorious beauty, or even has any familiarity with the "beauty of Jesus". But when they see her, they see Him. His beauty is unmistakable, shining from her face in radiant glory, as Moses descending Mt. Sinai.

She has spent many long and quiet hours with her Lord, sitting at His feet, learning of Him. She is storing up treasure in Heaven. She is even more of an anomaly if she is grown in the wilderness, with no other spiritual influence upon her. Driven by Christ to pursue Him no matter the personal cost to her, He has fashioned her for Himself as a mirror, if you will, that reflects Him to His Church.

"...beautiful as the moon, bright as the sun..." ~Songs 6:10

Even more, Christ makes absolutely certain that all will know His work in her is HIS WORK in her. These women are widows or unequally yoked, those bent over with disease, or the aged matriarchs of the family. In other words, these women are weak, frail, scared, lonely women. Often these are the ones overlooked by those in their family, who have endured great hardship, who had nowhere else to turn but to the Lord Jesus Christ.

And He has accepted them mightily. What lovely grace has He bestowed, to call these women His daughters? What manner of love has He given, that these might be called the children of God? What magnificent glory does He lavish, that these women fall deeper into the heart of Christ than anyone else they've ever known?

In short, Christ still has His Mary's of Bethany and His Dorcas's of Joppa within His Church. Perhaps their purpose in the Body is to showcase the transcendent beauty of Christ in a real and tangible way. These precious women will be looked upon in awe and wonder, so be advised, men of God, they must be protected. The beauty of Christ is magnetic yet divisive, and many will wish to adore and possess her, cruelly scoff at her, or wickedly use her for their own gain. If there is a woman with unction of the Spirit in your midst, protect her with your life if you have to.

She is the rarest of flowers in His garden, wondrously loved and exquisitely cherished by Christ. What the Great Husbandman has grown for His glory, let no man pluck for himself.

Amen.

The Glory of God in the Heart of a Man

Have you ever stopped to meditate upon the truth that God Himself entered into our world and lived as a man? This is the most fantastic thing to happen in the history of the world. God became tangible, a Person, one whom you could touch, hug, and speak with directly. Have you ever had trouble holding someone's eye contact? How about eye contact with the Son of God? To know with certainty the One you're looking at knows every little thing about you?

This makes me swoon. It is overwhelming. Christ would have been so magnetic, and yet, I think I might have avoided Him a little bit if I had lived then. His eyes would have skewered you where you stood. I can't even imagine the weight of that look He gave Peter when Peter denied Him.

O, a heart shattered to pieces by a mere glance!

And yet, gazing into the eyes of Christ is what I'm most looking forward to in Glory. There is no wrath in them for me. Even so, the weight of such stunning love could not be withstood by my tissue-paper heart until His work was finished in me, until Heaven. If those eyes gazed at me now, I think I might fall over dead.

The more I come to know who Jesus was as a man through reading His Word, the more I can relate to the women who ministered to Him, who anointed Him, who collapsed at His feet weeping. He is the most magnificent man who has ever lived. As a woman myself, I cannot help but be overcome by His glory, even veiled in flesh. I often wonder how many women were secretly in love with Him? He had to have had some hearts following along behind Him in this way. I think it's impossible to be faced with literal perfection and not want to possess it as your own. There certainly was a level of devotion given to Christ these women didn't seem to give their own men.

Even now, two thousand years removed, Christ remains the most magnetic man to ever live. He stands head and shoulders above the best of men, the greatest of kings, the wisest of the wise. Of course, the lion's share of our adoration for Jesus comes from His indwelling Holy Spirit, who is the Witness of His majesty. How amazing, Christ lived for us so that by His Spirit, He could live in us and through us. Christ, through His Spirit, is still on this earth, through the hearts, and the eyes, of His children, the Body of Christ.

Christ became a man, to indwell men. Here I am, swooning again. Every son, every daughter, to a certain degree, have the eyes of Christ. I do not think there is a greater truth than the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I do not think there is a higher honor than to have Christ alive in me.

This magnificent God, alive in me! That someone can look at me and see Him; that I can look at my brethren and see Him... O, how this overwhelms me!

"Do not look upon me, for I am black!"

And yet He replies:

"There is no flaw in you."

There is no flaw in HIM, therefore, in Him, there is no flaw in me. He is not apart from me, He is a part of me. He is all of me. He is in me. This is glory. The Son of God has united Himself to me, He lives through me, He looks out through my eyes. This is Glory!

God in a man... God in Christ... Christ in me...

Glory of glories, the most magnificent man is alive in me! I cannot fathom the depths of this bountiful treasure. It lays me out on the floor. And to see Christ in my brethren takes my literal breath away. It is often hard to look upon even them. He is so good to all of us, to shine His light through these jars of wretched clay.

Delight upon Christ this Christmas season and ponder these weighty things. What great and mighty majesty has He clothed us with by clothing us with Himself? What fear can conquer? What enemy can overcome? What evil can destroy? Nothing, and no one, can ever overcome Him. Take heart, dear one, He has overcome the world. And in Him, so shall you.

Lord Jesus, I ask that You shine the light of Your countenance upon us all. Ravish our hearts by one glance from Your eye. Give us this perspective, that You are absolutely glorious, the fairest among the sons of men. Lift our souls to You, soar us to the heights of Your fierce, yet sweet devotion. And by Your Spirit, let us come to know the fullness of You, to know the wonder of Your love, and the great lengths that God went to show Himself to us, to live in us, to save us, and to be with us.

Dear one, come to Jesus, look into His eyes, and find no condemnation there, only acceptance in the Beloved. 

O, a heart in pieces made whole by a mere glance!

Praise the Lord!