I love Jesus. I beyond love Jesus. I ADORE Jesus. And you know what I've come to realize? That's really WEIRD to the world. To people who don't believe, they look at you as if you talk to an invisible friend, or as if you never really grew up and you still believe in fairy tales.
That's okay. I don't mind. Because I can get lost in Christ's love for me. Those of you who are Christian might understand where I'm coming from. Not every Christian is "in love" with Jesus. They might think they are, but their relationship with Him is nothing more than casual. They pray over their food and at church, but probably not at any other time. Singing songs of praise is well and good, but do you actually turn the music off and just TALK to God? Spend time with Him?
I think my unshakeable love in God began when I was a young girl. I thought I was Christian when I was a child, but I realized just knowing who Jesus is wasn't enough. I had to ask Him into my heart. I had to surrender my will for His. I had to make Him Lord over my life.
My parents divorced when I was 12, so my teen years were very lonely and painful. If God hadn't found me in those vulnerable times, I don't know where I would be today. God gave me purpose and saved me from my pain. He became my life. I got baptized. I went to youth groups. I had a church I loved. Christian friends I hung out with and clubs I attended. It was a great time.
When I became an adult, my attention was pulled away from God by my husband, and then my children. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my family. But even though I still listened to my Christian music, I never made time for God -- and yet I still categorized myself as a "strong" Christian.
I was in this wilderness period with God for quite a few years. And I had absolutely no idea. I never fell away too far from the Lord. I still prayed. Everyone knew I was a Christian, but most likely from my cross necklace than from any declaration of my own.
But something flipped in me about a year ago. I "woke up", as it were, to God once again. I've returned to my First Love, and I ADORE Him!!! Christians, do you remember when you were a new, baby Christian, and your love for Jesus was unfathomable? When you were bouncing off the walls? When you wanted to shout from the rooftops about God to the world?
I feel like that again. :)
But this is different than a brand-new "courtship-puppy-dog" love. This is a Love so strong, that it's in my DNA. The Spirit of God is so tangled within my own that there is no separating me from Him.
I decided last year that I wanted to love God like the Apostles did. They didn't sit on their couch and give God lip-service. They didn't sing songs to God and then forget about Him the rest of the week. No, they were BOLD and COURAGEOUS and LIVED and BREATHED Christ. That's the kind of love I wanted to have with Him.
So I asked Him to help me love Him like that. And He did. Wow, did He ever!
I don't mind if I'm a little odd to my friends who don't "get it". Jesus "gets" me. He created me. And He loves me more than anyone on earth possibly could. If He stood off His throne to come die for me, then I can stand off my couch and go live for Him.
I love being a Christian.